21 Things I've Learned as a 21-Year-Old

I’ve been 21 for a few months now, and I recently had this incredible epiphany: I peaked in junior year of high school. Everything has spiraled downhill since, i.e., existential crises, three knee surgeries, pandemic, etc. Also, I realized that this blog needed a little revamp from the typical emo shit I’m so used to posting. So much writing about knee surgery and pain and loss of hope with a sprinkle of gratitude here and there but not as much as there should be. I am blessed with an amazing life full of amazing people and amazing mistakes that I have learned so much from in this recent 4-year downhill spiral (let’s face it, it’s more like 21 years). So here are 21 things I’ve learned as a 21-year-old, in no particular order.

1. There are such things as ugly snow and pretty snow.

Coming from someone who had never seen snow until going to college, this was a revelation. Also, snow doesn’t stay powdery; it actually turns into ice and you can slip on it and eat shit in case you didn’t know.

2. Family is everything.

The single most important takeaway for me from the pandemic. Your time with your family under one roof is so precious and should never be taken for granted, no matter how fed up you are with each other.

3. Eat the damn cookie.

Life is too short to battle with yourself about which foods “should” be eaten. More to come on this soon.

4. Knee surgery is not the end of the world.

Although it damn well felt like it. I’m still standing (barely).

5. Your parents are just looking out for your best interest.

Even though they can be annoying and imposing and quite rude at times, everything they do is in their child(ren)’s best interest. However, this is quite hard to believe at times

6. You will get anxious every time you go the grocery store.

It’s inevitable and it doesn’t get better. THERE ARE 18 DIFFERENT TYPES OF CANNED TOMATOES WHY.

7. Your mom’s advice becomes increasingly more valuable as you get older.

The best so far was when I went to the liquor store and didn’t know which white wine to get for my Bolognese. And then I proceeded to hang up on her once I found it as I was going to make my first alcoholic purchase… legally.

8. You’ll regret not going out freshman year.

No boy is worth staying in the dorms rather than going out and getting hammered with your best friends.

9. Dating apps are not for losers.

I met my boyfriend on Bumble, but we’re still low key (high key) losers though. At least we’re losers in love.

10. You don’t have to follow your older brother’s footsteps.

Braden just became a doctor. Talk about high expectations. Don’t pursue a doctorate if you don’t want one. (Yes, I know, the man featured in this video is a fucking doctor).

11. Talking about your feelings helps because if you don’t, you’ll unexpectedly unpack it in front of your whole family.

Take it from Dr. Braden Li himself. When you don’t cry in front of your dad for a period of time, you’re bound to do it at least once every decade. When you cry in front of your parents often, like me, they no longer judge you as harshly and just see you as an emotional bitch.

12. You are capable of loving and being loved.

And when I say loving, I mean loving yourself too. I think it’s easy to find others to love because of the attractive qualities that they can bring to the table, but to love yourself for the qualities you bring to the table, that’s not as easy. It’s easier for some people than it is for others, but it’s possible and everyone is capable.

13. Flossing is important, like you’re supposed to do it every day important.

Just do it, ya nasty. Or else your mom will scream at you through FaceTime. And your aspiring orthodontist roommate will judge you. Yes, this very sweet girl here in the red dress

will come after you.

14. You need different wardrobes for each season.

NO ONE warned me how many clothes I would accumulate living in the northeast. There are only three clothing options in Miami: shorts and t-shirt, bikini, or nudity. Sweaters take up a lot more space than you would think.

15. It’s okay if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.

I’ve felt so pressured to have plan, and fulfill said plan, and be successful with said plan. But I have no fucking plan. And you don’t need one because you’ll be just fine rolling with the punches and seeing where they take you. Nothing ever goes your way, speaking from personal experience.

16. Asian F’s are acceptable… only in college though because your parents no longer get your transcripts.

What they don’t know can’t hurt them.

17. YOU get to choose how to define yourself.

Obvious, right? Not to me, but this realization has been SO eye-opening for me. I used to perceive myself the way I thought others perceived me, i.e., that smart Asian soccer player in your class. So, I thought that’s what I had to be and what did I become? That smart Asian soccer player in your class with a stick up my ass because that’s all I ever thought I could be. Don’t confine yourself to the bubble you think others are putting you in. Most of the time, they don’t care about you enough to even give you a bubble.

18. You can be both Chinese and Cuban. *gasp*

To all of my interracial friends reading this who can never feel like they belong to one race or the other, it sucks, and I even look more like one race. My brother and I have constantly struggled with this because we obviously look Chinese, but we definitely aren’t Chinese enough. Neither of us speak it fluently and I can’t even use my chopsticks correctly (even though we damn well know the name of every single food on the table). We’re not Cuban enough, even though we (I) know how to speak Spanish. We’re just not enough of either and that feeling of not being enough, she’s a bitch. But like the little girl in the Old El Paso hard and soft taco commercial said, “¿Por qué no los dos?” So, when you see a Chinese girl dancing to reggaeton or bachata at 1-800-Lucky… no you didn’t.

19. The people closest to you will say some wack ass shit.

You need to have the difficult conversations. That’s how everyone becomes more educated and empathetic towards each other’s personal stories. If you want to see change and be as woke as you claim to be, you need to speak up while simultaneously listen to what others have to say.

20. Manifesting works.

I’m not sure why but I swear it does.

21. Not everyone is going to like you.

And you don’t need everyone’s approval. Mr. Bloom, a teacher at my high school, once wisely told me, “Fuck ‘em.”